habits of very happy moms

1. Ask for help

Happy mothers are not afraid to ask for help from family and friends. While morose, martyred moms miss those out-of-town weekends and movie nights with their husband because they can't find a babysitter or a willing relative, Very Happy Moms just say, "Please."

2. Leave the house -- now

Have you been outside today? Fresh air, sunlight, and nature are believed to be critical mood enhancers for women, and moms can get this little lift while pushing strollers or swings. Look around that playground. Who looks happy? Go talk to her, right now.

3. Plan some big fun

In my research, I've found that VHMs work really hard to find time and money for vacations. Take away the alarm clocks, the homework, the deadlines...bring on the sunsets, the sand castles, the card games. Suddenly you remember why you spend so much time doing these people's laundry.

4. Get your groove on
You call him "honey," and he calls you "sugar" -- but are you giving each other enough sweetness? Happy moms like getting busy. It'll put a smile on your face. And it's nice to have a Very Happy Husband hanging around.

5. Eat, sleep, and be merry
Being sleep-deprived may be a badge of honor for those with young babies, but the sooner you can figure out how to get your eight hours back, the more delirious with joy you will be. Follow that well-deserved rest with a bowl of oatmeal and a banana instead of three cups of coffee and the remains of somebody's Pop-Tart, and see what happens.

6. Have a six-pack
I thought the main habit of Very Happy Moms might be popping Prozac, but I asked around and not a single happy mother mentioned drugs. Not even margaritas. Sigh. What they did mention, in droves, was exercise. And of course they're right: Just about equal to how good regular exercise makes us feel is how insidiously the gloom creeps in when we weasel out of it. Fortunately, to a mom, exercise can feel almost self-indulgent -- after all, you're doing something for yourself, in the company of other grown-ups. And that's part of the buzz.

7. One is not the loneliest number
Carving out time away from the kids is crucial, whether it's poker night with the girls or just a long bath with a magazine.

8. Be nice to thy neighbor
You would think that moms would be tapped out in the giving department. But most happy moms make doing things for others a regular part of their lives, whether it's baking a lasagna for a family with a new baby or offering a ride to an elderly friend. Remember: Your helpfulness is another deposit in the karma bank.

9. Love the one you're with

The happiest moms don't compare and compete. Neither they, nor their kids, nor their cars, nor their houses have to be the smartest, cutest, newest, or neatest. The green-eyed monster has chewed up the happiness of many a mom. Around A.D. 89 the philosopher Epictetus offered advice for Very Happy Moms: To be content is greater than riches, so love what you have.

10. Hang with your gal pals
Very Happy Moms have close mom friends. Knowing that others are in the trenches with you is key. From the super-petty issues to the deadly serious crises.