Today My Life Begins

I was really struck with this song… :'(

Today My Life Begins by Bruno Mars

I’ve been experiencing some issues in my life lately and all of that was because of me. I don’t know why I complicate my life. Though I don’t want to regret what happen for life is too short for it.

I just hope in time I can find and feel the real happiness I’m looking for.

Flash News : Typhoon Ondoy

I just got home from work and thank God we arrived safely. My boss told us to go home early this afternoon because of the heavy rains and winds of Typhoon Ondoy.

Typhoon Ondoy just passed the province of Pampanga here in the Philippines a while ago at 2 pm. And God when I turn on the television and saw the news everything I saw and heard was horrifying!

Just look at this image:


It’s been weeks since the last typhoon ( I think ) and today was like 30 days of rainfall poured for just 6 hours! Many people are now affected with the storm and almost everybody is devastated of what happen. And just a few hours ago President Arroyo declared 26 areas in Luzon including Metro Manila, under a state of calamity due to floods caused by tropical storm Ondoy.

Defense Secretary Gilbert Teodoro said the provinces placed under a state of calamity were Aurora, Quirino, Nueva Viscaya, Nueva Ecija, Pangasinan, Tarlac, Zambales, Pampanga, Bulacan, Rizal, Quezon, Isabela, Mountain Province, Ifugao, Benguet, La Union, Ilocos Sur, Cavite, Batangas, Mindoro Occidental, Mindoro Oriental, Marinduque, Camarines Norte, Bataan and Metro Manila.

Hope that this calamity will end soon this evening so that many people will be save and be safe. Let’s pray…

It's Finished

It’s finished. My friend was finally laid to rest last Sunday.


At that time all I want was to burst my emotions and I did. I wept until I had no tears to ooze and until my eyes hurt and got baggy. I wanted to cry because I wanted him to see that I care for him more then he knows – an emotion that I haven’t really showed when he was still alive. {*regretting*}. I cried from the time they pulled him out of his place till the time they closed his coffin at the cemetery. The feeling was unbearable. I accompanied his wife and made myself strong, knowing she feels worst than I am and that she could break at anytime and she did. :(

Red and I have known each other since 2001, by 2003 he was transferred to my department. He was my assistant on every task that I do. Everyday we have different transactions to share (work and nonwork-related) and more often than work is those days of just being a friend and an argue mate which I really miss. From the time we met, we see and talk to each other everyday for almost 8 hours a day, 6 days a week and we did that for almost 8 years! So imagine how I felt when our supervisor on duty called me at 3:30 in the morning on that dreadful day of January 7, 2009, the day where his life was cut short! :(

Since that day I never had a serene sleep because all I see was his image (each time I close my eyes). I never felt this kind of pain before, maybe because his death was unexpected and unbearable. He could have survived if he was careful and responsible enough. Urgh! :(

Or maybe what pains me more is that my hope of having a joyous and fruitful start this year had suddenly perished because of death! :,(

Hush! Enough of this! I need to move on and just think of that fact that he’s now in peace. No worries, no pain, no stresses or whatever, just peace. And all I have to think now are those unforgettable happy, wacky memories that we had when he was still with us.

Or maybe for a while.. I might convince myself that he just resigned and left for abroad and that he may never come back home… maybe… in time.

The need to move on

Tell me, how can one start again after a death of a love one?

I feel horrible but I also feel tired. I look like I’ve been munching a bunch of weight loss pill when I saw myself in my mirror this morning. I really feel bad that something like this have to happen to all of us.

I know it’s not the end of the world but you can’t blame me for having this pain. I hate DEATH, I really hate it and any forms relating to it.

I know our blood isn’t the same as that of my relatives but he was more than a friend – he was a BROTHER to me… painful as it seems I know I need to go on. But it may take a while before that happens.

We will miss you ...

I can't believe he's GONE...

Yesterday, January 7, 2009, was one of the worst days of my life.

A dear friend of mine had bid goodbye forever and today was even worse because of the realization that I have to accept that the days with him are finally over. God! The fact of his death hasn’t really sunk into my system and each time I remember his death, tears can’t help but fall from my eyes.

In reality, the cause of death was nonsense for me. Somehow, my thoughts say that its better that he could have died with an illness or better that he could have perished of something nobler than negligence. Yes, his death was cause by his own negligence, a situation that he could have pass if he was careful and aware enough of his consciousness.

Hay, I really can’t relay the whole story now and I can’t say his name yet because a friend of mine who is also a blogger doesn’t know he’s gone, Till then I have to keep it all to me.

{Bad Bad Bad}

I feel so so so bad today.

After receiving some bad comments on my other blog about the “Fish issue”. I really felt bad. How can they defend someone that they haven’t met at all?! Fanatic tlga!

Well, you can’t be blame for being “bitchy” on Marian Rivera, I think some of you read my sentiments about her here. At talagang uusok kayo if you we’re in place. Nonetheless, after posting it and received some contemplating comments, I still feel bad even though I’ve released my tensions. Hayyy…I hate evil lurkers {hindi ako sanay buti nalang may moderation ako sa comments beh!}

I’m not saying that all that was said were not true. Please note that what I’ve said were actual facts and based on my own experience. {I just hope others can respect that!?} And I just want to post it for the benefit of my real readers and my way of expressing myself narin.

So for those who opposed and don’t believe me- I don’t care! Mind you own business and stay away from my blog! {wow! taray! Haha}

Note: Hopefully, this will be my post about the issue.

Thanks to all who commented. ;)

Ciao! Need to search for some incontinence products for my old friend Rob. lol! {peace!}

my poignant uncertainties

I’m sad, I’m really am.
I sense a deep remorse in my heart as of the moment.

I don’t know why, I’m not certain. Is it because of him? Is it because of what he did? Is it because of the circumstances? Or is it because of me? Oh those thingies’ that I did! I just hate them!

Just wept last night with a sentiment of uncertainty. Jumbled emotions and bewilderment just knocked me… Is it because of some bug that rambled around my brain again? That's what he said.

Now, we're having a feeling of hostility amid us and I think it’s my entire blunder? Is it? Well, I really believe so…

What can I do? No one can charge my heart with what it felt. I’m just longing the old him and wanting a prosperous existence.

Can’t think of something, I can’t concentrate. Just want to shout! Why is my reality like this? Why can’t I just be them? Am I the one to blame? Always? Confusion smack me again and again

I’m going to work with a shapeless eyeball today and I don’t care what others might say. I don’t even mind how this expression goes, just want to unshackle my unhappiness.

Yes its true, as of this second, I’m NOT happy. I don’t know how distant or extensive this would go… Just yearning for the contentment that I desire right now. But I don’t know when or even how?

Can one truly reach indisputable satisfaction in life? I don’t think so ... all a daydream. With much anticipation, we can mend our dispute and just confer ourselves to a fresh launch.

I just wish it ended here and the whole thing would just disappear.