why twos aren't so terrible

For generations, 2-year-olds have suffered from bad PR. We've all heard the litany: They're difficult; they throw tantrums; they say no all the time. These complaints, while all undeniably true, have saddled them with a notorious moniker: "the terrible twos." But if you examine the flip side of the coin, you'll discover how terrific the twos can be too.

"This is the stage where a child goes from being a baby to being a real little person -- a person with thoughts, opinions, and a will of her own," says Peggy Shecket, a child- and family-development specialist in Columbus, Ohio. "Ironically, these are the very attributes that make the twos turbulent. But ultimately, all toddlers really want to do is figure out how the world works -- and how they can participate. And that's something every parent should celebrate." Below, five of the main reasons twos are terrific.

1.) They're learning to love
2.) They love to express themselves
3.) They actually want to help
4.) They live to learn
5.) They're becoming individuals

Yeah, this five are definitely the main reasons why twos are terrific. I'll elaborate these 5 items on my succeeding posts guys, so keep in touch! :)

should I discpline my toddler?

Let's face it: Raising a 1-year-old is a constant challenge.

Your child is old enough to start doing things on his own. But a lot of what he wants to do is dangerous, messy, hurtful, or downright maddening. And he's really not old enough to know better. The truth is, kids this age aren't being willfully defiant -- they simply need to hear a command numerous times before it sinks in. But you can also use these difficult moments as an opportunity to teach and discipline him.

Discipline? At this age? Yes, that's right. While it's much too early to start taking away privileges, this is the perfect time to lay the foundation for better behavior. "Your toddler is constantly testing what's acceptable and what's not," says Cheryl Erwin, coauthor of Positive Discipline: The First Three Years. "By setting basic rules and following through, you're helping him learn." The key is to use the right discipline method.

to be continued...

8 ways to be a better parent

Just saw these interesting articles while browsing my fave parent's site last night.

Almost everything that these articles says compliment what i do and did. ;)

Good news: It's the little things that really make a difference.

1. Avoid Comparisons and Labels
2. Walk the Talk
3. Let Your Child Make Mistakes
4. Do Nothing
5. Reconsider Your Use of Food to Comfort or Praise
6. Look Behind "Bad" Behavior
7. Trust Your Gut
8. Be Ready to Embrace Change


You can view each article on top by clicking them.

Just want to share this to all the parents who has been striving and still consider themselves unworthy to be the best. Hope these articles would revive your spirit and somehow change some of your thoughts.

Enjoy reading! :)

what habits can affect kids' sleep?

Help your child break these before-bed no-nos:

~ Watching TV, playing video games, or using the computer less than 30 minutes before bedtime (though stopping one hour before is even better).
~ Excessive roughhousing.
~ Eating a large meal close to bedtime (but don't send her to bed hungry either).
~ Snacking on foods that contain caffeine.

teach you child to sleep alone

There are different ways to get him snoozing solo. Choose the one that works best for your lifestyle and your child's temperament.

The hard-line strategy: You put your child to bed and leave. Try your best to ignore any protests, and if he comes out of his room escort him back and simply say, "You need to stay in bed." Some experts suggest putting a gate up so there's no escape. This technique can be tough on both parent and child but often works well and quickly, says Dr. Owens.

The graduated method: You put your child to bed but tell him that you'll come back in five minutes to check on him -- and you follow through with that promise. Then, keep checking on him, waiting successively longer intervals of time before going back into his room. Eventually, your child will get bored waiting and fall asleep. This is the method most parents choose.

The gentle approach: You stay in your child's room but don't lie in his bed or interact with him. For example, the first night sit in a chair by his bed. Each night, move farther away from him. Ideally, by the time you've edged your way out of the room he has learned to fall asleep on his own.

Your 17-month-old's social and emotional development: Feeling negative

Feeling negative
You may be surprised by the force of your child's likes and dislikes. Even at 17 months, toddlers can be very clear — loud and clear — about what they do and don't want to do, to eat, to wear.

Some children surprise with another kind of force — hitting, especially when they're frustrated. The most likely target: you. It's counter-intuitive, but this is actually a sign of trust. A 17-month-old child knows that you're a safe person to show just how upset and frustrated he can get.

What you can do

You may also notice that your child occasionally but very deliberately disobeys your orders. You say, "Please stay away from that vase," and your toddler looks right at you, reaches out, and touches the vase, or plucks a flower from it. You know he got your message, so rather than let the defiance become a big deal, experts say to simply ignore it whenever possible. In fact, it's important to try to avoid a confrontation with every little issue.

Other developments: Comforting routines, growing trust of other people
The first time you forget to read your toddler a bedtime story, don't be surprised if he reminds you. Toddlers thrive on routine, and they may remember each step of a particular ritual. If your child's end-of-day routine features bathing, drying hair, brushing teeth, picking out books, and then reading together in bed, there's a good chance that if you try to skip one or more of these steps, your 17-month-old will protest.

Even at this young age, toddlers can be quite adamant about following rituals, some of which may make no sense to you. For instance, when you tuck your child into bed at night, he may insist that you cover his favorite doll or stuffed animal with a certain blanket — and only that blanket. Or he may want to drink his milk from one particular cup, or insist on oatmeal for breakfast every single day for a month. Though these demands may puzzle or even annoy you, they serve an important purpose: Routines help to make your child's world more predictable.

At 17 months, most children are becoming less wary of strangers. At the grocery store your child may say hello to every person you pass in the aisles — something he never did before. Or when you go to music or tumbling class, he will suddenly want to be near the instructor. Mom and Dad are still the most important people in his life, but he is starting to develop special relationships with other people, too. He may even associate extended family, caregivers, and neighbors with certain activities. When you visit his grandparents, for instance, your toddler may pull his "Papa" out into the garden to investigate the roses he showed him on his last visit.

a great article for you and your baby

When I had Aj & got a chance to be online, I kept on searching some ways to help my baby acheive his maximum potential. Luckily, I came across this article.

When I read this article, I was really amazed on how an infant's brain works. So, I'm sharing this article to all the mommies and soon to be mommies! :)

STIMULATING A BABY'S BRAIN

By: Dr. Leo Leonidas, FAAP

Twenty nine years ago, when my wife was pregnant, I read from a Psychology journal about the possibility that a fetus can hear. This idea was new then. But during that time, there was already an obstetrician from California who was teaching his patients "How to talk to their unborn baby."

When my wife was about eight months pregnant, I started talking to our unborn baby. I told him that he will be a boy and his name will be Len Al. I put my lips on my wife's belly and called his name. I talked to him both in the Filipino language and English. I did the "fetal talking" every day until my wife was about to deliver.

We were so sure that he would be a boy (during that time there were no sonograms to determine the sex), that we decorated his bedroom in blue and we bought baby clothes for a boy.

On the freezing day of 28 January 1973, my son was born in Bangor, Maine. I talked to him at once and called his name. Every time I noticed that he was wide awake and alert, I talked to him. "How are you, kumusta ka?" Frequently my wife and I talked to him bilingually in Tagalog and English during his first twelve months. We also read to him frequently. Sometimes I read him some of my medical books.

When we were teaching him parts of his body, I even used some medical terms when pointing to his anatomy. One of the first anatomical words he uttered was "patella" when he was a toddler. The first two words that he was able to read at two years old were "Subaru" and "Toyota."

When Len Al was one month old, I ordered toys for three to four month olds from Johnson & Johnson. I made it a point to provide toys that were developmentally at least two to three months ahead of his age. I stimulated his brain development by talking and reading and playing with him every time I was at home. It was a fun time for our family when I was challenging his skills. Len Al and I played with a ball when he was four months old. When he was on his belly, I would place a small ball in front of him that he could reach easily. Once he reached for it and grabbed it, I would say, "Good boy," and show him my joy. Then I would move the ball an inch or two farther where he could not reach it easily. Then I would say, "Go get the ball, Len." With persistence, ultimately he maneuvered himself to reach and grab the ball, then I celebrated with joy, "Good job, son!"

In the kitchen, when my wife was doing something, she made it a point to show him the things and objects she was holding. At feeding time, Len Al loved the airplane spoon game. My wife would put the carrots from Gerber on a spoon, and at about 12 inches from his mouth she would say, "Here is the airplane coming," and the spoon would go into his mouth with carrot and all. My wife stayed at home for 12 months with our son.

When Len Al was one year old, we had a 70 year old babysitter, Yolanda, who came to our house to take care of him. Yolanda was his second teacher, and she probably did better than we did at educating him. Both Yolanda and Al had nature walks, apple sauce cooking, and almost no TV.

Our son did extremely well during his elementary grades. He was always in the top of his class, and during high school he got only one "B" and all the rest were "A's." He was summa cum laude at the University of Maine, with a BS in Biology. He was accepted at three medical schools. He graduated from medical school at Tufts University in Boston May 2001. Now Len Al is a first year resident at MedPeds (Medicine and Pediatrics) at Albany Medical Center in New York. We attribute his successful academic performance to our early stimulation of his brain during the first 9 months by frequent talking, reading, playing with blocks, and traveling.

Most parents can make their infants advanced in emotional, cognitive, and language development by recognizing that the most crucial time of development of a child is from pre-natal to the first nine months of life. During this time, the growth and development of the brain is the fastest and in high gear. The earlier the brain cells or neurons are stimulated, the more synapses (connection of one neuron to another) are created. It is the early neural synapses that make us remember, learn, talk, think, count, and create better.

Copyright Leo Leonidas, MD, FAAPAssistant Clinical Professor in PediatricsTufts University School Of Medicine, Boston

sneak in some veggies

Pizza

The Makeover: Whether you're ordering in, heating it up, or making it from scratch, top your pie with flavor-packed nutrient-boosters like chopped tomatoes, red peppers, broccoli, and basil leaves. Aim for about 1/4 to 1/2 cup of vegetables or fruit (pineapple makes a great topper) per slice. Bonus: This is a great task for a mini sous chef hankering to help in the kitchen.

Expert Tip: If you opt to make your pie from scratch, use a whole wheat crust and low-fat cheese. "Or try mixing parmesan or white cheddar with your basic mozzarella," says Sarah Krieger, RD, a St. Petersburg, Florida-based dietitian and spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association. The stronger flavor of those cheeses means you can get away with using less.

Chicken Fingers

The Makeover: Balance out this typically fried dish by serving healthy sides. Instead of greasy French fries, make your own baked sweet potato fries -- they're packed with vitamin A and also provide some fiber if you leave the skin on. "Keep some sliced veggies on the table too," advises Krieger. "If they're out there, your kids will inevitably munch on them."

Expert Tip: For healthier chicken nuggets, skip the premade stuff. Instead, dip chicken breasts or tenders in egg wash (a mix of egg whites and skim milk), then in seasoned bread crumbs or crushed corn flakes. Bake in the oven at 425 degrees F. for 20 minutes.

Mac-and-Cheese

The Makeover: Whipping it up from the box? Then just add some frozen mixed vegetables, like cauliflower, broccoli, and carrots, which help to boost this high-fat, low-fiber entree. "Don't assume your kids won't like it -- everything tastes better when it's doused in cheese!" says Krieger. In fact, a recent Penn State University study found that using "stealth vegetables" -- hiding them in sauces so that kids don't automatically recognize them -- helped boost preschoolers' veggie intake and slash their calorie consumption significantly compared to those who ate pasta without extra vegetables tossed in.

Expert Tip: If you're doing the from-scratch thing, make your dish even healthier with whole wheat pasta and low-fat cheese. Try flavor-packed cheddar instead of processed American.

Hot Dogs

The Makeover: For a natural way to serve up veggies with this summertime staple, prepare your dogs Chicago-style -- topped with pickles, tomato slices, onions, and peppers -- on whole wheat buns. Or you can try serving a brocoslaw salad, a healthier take on traditional coleslaw that uses shredded broccoli in addition to cabbage and carrots. Look for a prepackaged bag at your local market, and mix in a low-fat dressing instead of mayo.

Expert Tip: "Be a food label maven," says Neville. "There are so many options out there, so pick hot dogs with the least total fat and saturated fat per serving."

Spaghetti & Meatballs

The Makeover: "Marinara sauce is a good start," says Neville, "But you can doctor it up by mixing in a can of antioxidant-packed diced tomatoes before heating in a saucepan." Then toss in shredded carrots, chopped mushrooms, and onions to beef up the veggie quotient even more.

Expert Tip: "Because of restaurant super-sizing, we're used to eating meatballs as big as a fist," says Neville. Instead, give mini-meatballs a go. The portions are more age-appropriate and easier for little kids to handle, and chances are you and your hubby will eat a bit less (and cut back on calories) too.

Grilled Cheese

The Makeover: Add a slice of lean ham or turkey and a couple of tomatoes before grilling for a quick way to pack this simple sandwich with more protein and veggies.

Expert Tip: Skip the butter (it's high in saturated fat). Instead, brush the pan with unsaturated canola oil, which is more heart-healthy.

Peanut Butter & Jelly

The Makeover: PB&J is a natural fit for add-ons like bananas and apple slices, says Neville. You can even try skipping the jelly entirely (most commercial jellies are sugar-packed empty calories) and loading the sandwich up with fruit instead.

Expert Tip: Regular peanut butter has extra sugar and may contain artery-clogging trans fats and saturated fats. So buy natural peanut butter and serve it on whole wheat bread. Kid won't part with his go-to grape jelly? Look for labels that say "low sugar" or "fruit only."

head banging tots

I've posted before that I'm getting worried with my baby's banging his head when he craves for attention. Luckily, Mich and Ann response to it and told me that its a normal process in a developing toddler. I was relieved! Thanks again sisters!

Now, I want to share this article for those who has the same "worry freak mind" like mine. :)

Why does my toddler purposely bang his head?

Head banging is surprisingly common. Up to 20 percent of babies and toddlers bang their head on purpose, although boys are three times more likely to do it than girls. Head banging often starts in the second half of the first year and peaks between 18 and 24 months of age. Your child's head banging habit may last for several months, or even years, though most children outgrow it by age 3.Possible reasons your toddler may bang his head:

• Self-comfort. As strange as it may sound, most toddlers who indulge in this behavior do it to relax. They bang their head rhythmically as they're falling asleep, when they wake up in the middle of the night, or even while they're sleeping. Some rock on all fours as well. Developmental experts believe that the rhythmic motion, like rocking in a chair, may help your toddler soothe himself.

• Pain relief. Your toddler may also bang his head if he's in pain — from teething or an ear infection, for example. Head banging seems to help kids feel better, perhaps by distracting them from the discomfort in their mouth or ear.

• Frustration. If your toddler bangs his head during temper tantrums, he's probably trying to vent some strong emotions. He hasn't yet learned to express his feelings adequately through words, so he's using physical actions. And again, he may be comforting himself during this very stressful event.

• A need for attention. Ongoing head banging may also be a way for your toddler to get attention. Understandably, you may tend to become solicitous when you see your child doing something that appears self-destructive. And since he likes it when you fuss over his behavior, he may continue the head banging in order to get the attention he wants.

• A developmental problem. Head banging can be associated with autism and other developmental disorders — but in most of these cases, it's just one of many behavioral red flags. Rarely does head banging alone signal a serious problem.

What can I do about it?

Give your toddler your attention — but not when he's banging.
Make sure your child gets plenty of positive attention from you when he's not banging his head. If he still bangs his head to get your attention, though, try not to make a big deal about it, or you may reinforce the behavior. Even if you can't completely disregard the behavior, don't scold or punish him for it. He's too young to understand the situation, and your disapproval may only make matters worse.

Protect your child from injury.
Check all the screws and bolts on your toddler's crib once a month or more to make sure the rocking isn't loosening anything. You can also put rubber casters on the crib legs and hang a soft fabric or quilt between the crib and the wall to reduce noise and to minimize wear and tear on the walls and floor.

Don't put pillows or blankets in his crib to soften his surroundings, because these are a suffocation hazard. If you want to use bumpers on your toddler's crib to soften his blows, make sure that they're thin, firm (not puffy), and securely tied to the crib railings, so your toddler can't get his head between the bumper and the railing.

Try not to worry.
Your toddler may get a bruise or two, but don't worry — head banging is usually a "self-regulating" behavior. This means your child is unlikely to hit his head hard enough to seriously injure himself. He knows his threshold for pain and will pull back on the throttle a bit if the banging hurts.

Help foster your child's love of rhythm in other ways.
Your child clearly likes a good steady beat, so help him find other outlets for his love of rhythm. Experts often recommend dancing, marching, and drumming or clapping to music together. You might also try putting a metronome in your child's room to give him the comfort of a steady rhythm. Make sure he gets lots of physical exercise during the day, too, to help him burn off some of the nervous energy that may feed his head banging.

Start a soothing bedtime routine.
If your child is banging his head as a way of "coming down" from his busy day, try setting up a relaxing routine. A warm bath, a calm rock on your lap, and a quiet story or song may help. You may want to spend a few minutes before bed rubbing his back or stroking his forehead. Soft music in his bedroom can be soothing, too.

Consult a doctor if your child's behavior becomes worrisome.
If your child bangs his head a lot during the day or continues to bang his head even though he's hurting himself, you may have cause for concern. Though it's uncommon, head banging can be associated with autism and other developmental disorders, which sometimes become apparent during the toddler and preschool years.

Autistic children generally don't relate well to people. They often aren't interested in physical contact with their parents and seem to look through people rather than at them. If you notice that your child is losing physical abilities, language, or other skills he's acquired; if he's becoming increasingly withdrawn; or if he's consistently delayed in achieving common developmental milestones, check with his doctor.

10 small steps to being a better parent

Strengthen your bond with your child starting today.

Sometimes, just making a few tiny, relatively painless adjustments in the way you interact with your kids can bring about huge improvements in your family life. Here are ten doable changes -- requiring little investment of time and no major overhaul of philosophy, temperament, or parenting -- that any parent can make, starting today.

1. Praise your child's random acts of kindness.
Your son has allowed another child at the playground to ride on his beloved scooter. Your daughter made you a card with a smiley face and lots of red hearts. Take notice by offering a little praise.

Why you need to:
So often, in the bustle of our daily lives, we take for granted those sweet or generous behaviors we most like to see in our children -- and want to promote and strengthen. Noticing and praising your child's kind gestures is one important way to help her establish a core identity, a sense of herself as a person who feels good when she's good to others. Also, praising your child for something nice she did teaches her not to take others' kindnesses for granted.

How you do it:
You don't have to create the impression that drawing a smiley-face card or sharing a toy is the most fabulous achievement ever. Simply say, "That was really great, the way you shared your scooter with Paul at the playground." And then turn your attention elsewhere.


2. Stop arguing with a screaming child.
Give up trying to convince a furious 4-year-old that it's a bad idea to have another cookie right before dinner. The logic of that decision will be lost on him.

Why you need to:
It's futile to argue with a child who's in the middle of a tantrum. Instead of getting through to him, you will likely upset him even more. That, in turn, makes him feel miserable and you feel ineffectual.

How you do it:
Try changing your location: If you're in public with your child, move to a different aisle of the supermarket or cut your expedition short; at home, walk into another room. The key is to distract -- if not your child, then yourself. One mother told me that when she is approaching meltdown with her 3-year-old, she goes to the freezer, grabs two ice cubes, and holds one in each fist: "It literally cools me down! And it reminds me not to argue with him."


3. Read bedtime stories as often as possible.
Lie down with your child before lights out and read one of her favorite books, or even a single chapter of it. Or expand your horizons: A father in one of my parenting workshops told me that he enjoyed reading to his 6-year-old daughter, Vicky, but often found himself drifting off over her kiddie stories. To liven things up, he began reading Oliver Twist aloud. Although he was sure there was much about the story she didn't understand, Vicky would tug at his sleeve every evening, saying, "Read to me about Oliver, Daddy."

Why you need to:
Stories, of course, teach kids about life in many indirect ways. But research also suggests that the cadence, rhythm, and tone of being read to -- as opposed to the sounds of other kinds of talking -- soothe a child and help relieve anxieties. "When I'm reading to Vicky," says her father, "I can see the peacefulness in her face."

How you do it:
If you currently read to your child once a week, double up to twice a week. Or extend storytime from 15 minutes to 20 minutes. "Every three or four evenings, I schedule uninterrupted reading and storytelling," says Amanda, the mother of 6-year-old twins. "The TV and video games go off and the answering machine picks up the phone. I refrain from comments about clothes to be picked up or backpacks to be loaded." As a result, the activity is not only pleasant and reassuring, it is also a treasured ritual.


4. Drop one event per week.
Somewhere, in nearly every American household-posted on the refrigerator or tacked to the bulletin board in the family room -- there is a monthly calendar jammed with activities. This calendar resembles a city map -- dense, crowded, gridlocked! At a certain point, all those penciled-in to-do items cease to be enriching and instead become a prescription for emotional and physical meltdown. Dropping just one activity a week will do wonders for the quality of your family life.

Why you need to:
Simply stated, most of us are wildly overscheduled. Having your child attend one or two fun events a week, rather than several, can mean the difference between a child who's contented and calm and one who's overexcited and impossible for hours at a time.

How you do it:
View a mental rerun of the past week or two. Ask yourself, "Is there a point at which we always seem to run into trouble -- when my child gets especially worn out or cranky or I get especially on edge?" Perhaps you'll recognize a trouble spot -- after Wednesday's swim class or Thursday's toddler gymnastics. Can you eliminate that activity from the weekly schedule? At the very least, can you skip it one week and see if you or your child feels calmer and happier?


5. Get physical with your child.
Give him a quick hug. Tousle his hair. Scratch his back. Hold hands. Sounds obvious -- yet so many rushed parents and children these days barely have a chance to speak to one another, let alone touch.

Why you need to:
We grown-ups place great importance on communicating -- expressing thoughts and feelings in words -- yet we often undervalue how much communication goes on through touch. We forget how powerfully casual physical gestures express love. A quick kiss or stroke on the cheek as your youngster bounds off to school leaves a little piece of you with him for the day.

How you do it:
Ask yourself, "Have I expressed my love today through touch?" Be sensitive to your child's preferences: One youngster might love a good, hard hug, while another would shrink from it in embarrassment or discomfort. Find the mode of touch that works for your child.


6. Imagine the best, not the worst.
This is a tough one, because parents are natural worriers. Your toddler wants only cereal, and you're afraid she'll be the fussy eater you were. Your son gets bossy at the playground, and you're sure he'll never have any friends. You can reverse such thinking by consciously imagining the best possibility instead of the worst.

How you do it:
Identify some unimportant issue and just let it go without the usual struggle. Perhaps your son is dawdling in the mornings before school. Instead of stressing about whether he'll be tardy and convincing yourself that he'll always be disorganized, tell yourself, "He's learning to make decisions, regardless of whether his clothes look funny or he's a few minutes late."


7. See the world through your child's eyes.
On occasion, put yourself in your child's place.

Why you need to:
Adopting your child's point of view is one of the most powerful parent-child connectors around. It reaffirms for her that you appreciate what she's thinking and feeling. An added bonus: You get to see things with the often-magical vision of a child. One father, noticing his 3-year-old leaning into the TV, asked why she was standing so close. "I want to be in there with Barney," said his daughter. Seeing things as your child does provides a glimpse into her world.

How you do it:
Once this week, as your child is telling you something, stop yourself from correcting, teaching, reacting, or interpreting. Just say, "Tell me more." Listen and perhaps marvel at what you hear. You will be rewarded with even more details about what your child sees and feels.


8. Let go a little.
This is an assignment especially for mothers -- and one they find difficult to carry out: Delegate some responsibilities. Let someone else -- your husband, your children, a friend -- do some of the work.

Why you need to:
Lightening your load is critical to your sanity and your reserves as a parent. More subtly, it will lower the resentment you may often feel. In countless polls, mothers have revealed a high level of repressed anger because they feel so totally overwhelmed by all they must do to keep their families functioning.

How to do it:
Delegating may feel odd at first, but it gets easier with practice. Remember, start small: Add one extra night to the number of times Dad puts the kids to bed. One day a week, share chauffeuring of kids to after-school activities with another parent. Get your children to perform household tasks: A 3-year-old can feed a hamster; a 5-year-old can set the table; a 7-year-old can put away groceries. Gradually, as the family grows accustomed to the idea, add to everyone's responsibilities -- except your own.


9. Sometimes, just hang out together.
Many studies point to a disturbing fact: Even when families think they're spending time together, in reality Mom is at the computer, Dad is in the basement, one kid is in the den with his Game Boy, and another is in the living room, building with blocks. Yes, they are under the same roof, but they're nowhere near each other. Yet quiet, unstructured time together is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.

Why you need to:
Children tell me again and again that the times they love most are when the whole family watches a video or plays a board game together. Kids cherish simple moments of sitting with other family members, doing not much of anything at all. One day, when Emily, now 12, was 5, she stayed home from school with a fever. She and her mom spent the day lazing on the couch, watching three of her favorite videos and dressing her Barbie in one outfit after another. Says Emily, seven years later, "That was one of the best days of my life."

How you do it:
Once a week, find time to be together as a family in a way that's restful and comforting. Invite the kids to climb into bed with you on Saturday morning and just lounge around for a half hour or so before the weekend frenzy kicks in. Or, one night a week, instead of rushing to clean up after dinner, linger with the whole family over dessert, the way you might if you went out to a restaurant.


10. Smile more.
And while you're at it, make a point of laughing more too.

Why you need to:
A smile is the most visible way we humans make ourselves and those around us feel better. Even when you are not initially in the mood to smile, scientists have found, the mere act of forcing your lips into that shape actually elevates your spirits. Research also shows that children, especially very young ones, mirror our facial expressions. So if you smile more, your child smiles more and is in a happier mood. Also, when kids perceive themselves as people who bring their parents happiness, they feel better about themselves. In my work with children, I am always struck by how thrilled they are when a parent laughs at one of their jokes.

How you do it:
Ask yourself every day, "Have I smiled or laughed today at something my kids did or said? Have I found the humor in the ordinary business that has gone on between us?" So many of the moments that try a parent's soul center around everyday transitions -- getting everybody out of the house in the morning or to dinner in the evening or to bed at night. A simple smile can break the tension and instantly improve the mood. If you sense that frowns have outnumbered the smiles on your face lately, change that picture -- immediately. Ask your 7-year-old if he's heard any new knock-knock jokes, or tell one yourself. While you're giving your 3-year-old her bath, stop thinking about the six other things you have to do, and just watch her race her plastic boats or feed her rubber duck.

Raising children can be an overwhelming job. It becomes much more manageable if you remember that enormous changes for the better begin with tiny steps. Put just one of these steps into practice this week -- the one that strikes you as most doable or compelling. With that small step, you've already begun the process of change

great books for our little tots

Green Eggs and Ham
By Dr. Suess

Try as you might, you cannot resist Sam-I-Am and his green eggs and ham. This wacky rhyming classic is as fun now as it was the first time you read it. Now, run out and get it!

Corduroy
By Don Freeman

For any kid who has dreamed of having an empty department store all to himself, Corduroy is a dream come true. This adorable bear has terrific adventures on his way to find his missing button.

The Family Book
By Todd Parr

Adopted families, stepfamilies, one-parent families, and families with two parents of the same sex, along with the traditional family -- are all chronicled here in a funny, silly, and accepting way. A terrific tool for teaching children about differences

Are You My Mother?
By P.D. Eastman

For the restless toddler who relishes audience participation. Each time the confused young bird asks a strange animal, "Are you my mother?" your kids will knowingly answer, "No!" And they might even explain why not. A wonderful teaching tool with a warm-fuzzy ending.

Hope You Dance
By Mark D. Sanders and Tia Sillers, Illustrated by Buddy Jackson and Karinne Caulkins

The authors of the adult best-seller of the same title bring their witty and fun message to children. This book offers encouragement and the kind of inspiration you need to shake off a bad day or just have a darn good time.

mommy's having a baby

Wondering how will your first born feels or act when she/he finds out that she/he will have a sibling?

Here are some ideas I've gathered that might help us understand our little tots.

A Firstborn Younger Than 2

If your child isn't even 1, obviously there's not a lot you can do to explain the situation. But if she's past her first birthday, she probably grasps more than you think. "Kids under 2 understand much more than they can say," Korfmacher says. "If you explain that there's a baby in your tummy and that one day it will come out, they get it. You don't have to say or do much more."

Sometime after 18 months, most kids will want to "mother" a doll or stuffed animal. Give your child his own "baby" if he doesn't have one already; this will let your child mimic you when the real baby arrives. Imitation is a toddler's favorite game and can help him absorb what's going on. In addition, you can introduce age-appropriate books about new siblings, even if your child mostly chews them. He may not get the gist of the stories yet, but when the new baby arrives, the scenarios you've been reading about will start to make sense.

Begin transitioning your child into new routines well before her sibling's birth. For instance, I knew I'd want Kate to be with a sitter for a few hours a week, so I started sending her a few months before Sara was born. It helped me get some rest, and it also established a routine for Kate in advance of the baby's arrival, preventing her from seeing the sitter as someone she was stuck with because of her new sister. If you have hand-me-down toys or gear that you're going to give the baby, make sure your firstborn has parted ways with them a few months before the birth.

Overall, the most important thing you can do is reassure your child, says Caroline Clauss-Ehlers, PhD, an assistant professor of counseling psychology in the graduate school of education at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey. Certain aspects of pregnancy, such as morning sickness, can be scary to a toddler. I remember once scooping up Kate as I ran to the bathroom to be sick; as I plopped her down and made it to the toilet, she burst into tears. Once I was able, I picked her up and held her close. "Keep letting them know that everything's okay," Clauss-Ehlers says. "They'll understand the emotion." And try not to stress too much about how your child will react to the baby. Children this age quickly forget life without a sibling.

A Firstborn of 2 or 3

Older toddlers and preschoolers have had more experience with babies. They've seen them at the park or have met their friends' little siblings. What will they think about having one of their own? "They'll definitely have an opinion, and they'll definitely share it with you," Clauss-Ehlers says.
Expect your child's feelings to change as she digests the news. For many, anxiety grows as the birth draws near. "It's harder to sit on Mommy's lap, she can't be picked up as easily -- these things can feel disruptive to the child," Korfmacher says. Adds Clauss-Ehlers: "One minute your child might feel upset, then happy -- it's probably going to vacillate."

To that end, choose a variety of sibling books with different tones. For instance, Joanna Cole's I'm a Big Sister and I'm a Big Brother (both HarperCollins) focus on how great it is to be a big sibling, while The New Baby (Random House), a Little Critter book by Mercer Mayer, acknowledges the feelings of ambivalence. You want your child to be excited yet not ashamed of any other feelings he's having, Korfmacher says.

Ages 2 to 3 are when milestones such as toilet training and the big-kid bed occur; make sure your child doesn't feel like he's being made to use the potty or give up his crib when he's not ready. "Don't force those issues or connect them in the child's mind with the baby," Clauss-Ehlers says. Either work on transitions at least three months before you're due or wait until some time afterward. Your newborn can sleep in a bassinet or co-sleeper if you still need the crib for your big kid, and having two in diapers is not as terrible as it sounds.

When the baby arrives, how your child behaves will depend on his personality. Some kids seem uninterested. Others are curious. Play helps them express emotions: some will cradle their dolls, while others will drop them on their head. (That doesn't mean they'll do the same to a real baby. They're just telling you they're not sure they like the idea of a sibling yet!)

Expect some regression from your big kid. He may want to be held more or demand to nurse even though he has long been weaned. He may have accidents even if he's potty trained. Treat regression calmly, without punishment, and praise your child for grown-up behavior. And, of course, sneak in as many extra cuddles as you can to assure him he's still your beloved baby too.

Though your child is anxious about the change in his family, he's excited as well. "Most kids this age take a lot of pride in their new role. Anything you can do to reinforce that will help," says Korfmacher. Hildy Karp, of South Orange, New Jersey, threw a big-brother party for her 3-year-old son, Holden, the day his baby sister came home. "My sisters and Holden decorated our house and got cupcakes, and we all celebrated his new status as a big brother," she says. "A year later, he still talks about it."

A Firstborn of 4 or 5

A child in pre-K or kindergarten comprehends what's going on, and with that understanding can come anxiety. "She might be curious about how giving birth will work physically and therefore be more worried about your aches and pains," says Korfmacher. "Think through how you can best reassure her." For instance, hearing you talk about the baby kicking might set her little brow furrowing; be sure to emphasize that it's normal. Invite her to ask questions. At this age, knowledge is power, so take her to a prenatal visit and consider a sibling-preparation class. My friend Catherine took Ella to see the hospital maternity unit, and Ella got to pass by the nursery and see a newborn. One caveat: Don't discuss the medical aspects of your birth with your child -- the details may needlessly stress her out.

Even as you prepare for the baby, keep the focus on your big kid. After you set up the nursery, perhaps update her bedroom too. Once the baby arrives, you'll want to work to maintain your older child's social contacts through playdates and after-school classes. "Peers are very important at this age," says Clauss-Ehlers.

Now that my girls are 4 and 2, they're as thick as thieves most of the time -- and arch enemies the rest. It's a juggling act for me, but watching them learn from each other reminds me that a sibling is the greatest gift I could have given to either one of them.

helping kids get comfortable with a peer who has disabilities

Disabilities Are Differences

So when a person moves talks and walks differently, children, and even some adults, are drawn to see just how that person is different. A child will stare until he realizes just what those differences are all about. People with differences initially perplex those who see them for the first time. Soon, as the differences become familiar, a person focuses on their similarities and commonalities as they shed any fears or uncomfortable feelings.

The more a person understands and is around a broad spectrum of people with atypical behaviors or disabilities, the easier it gets. Therefore it's up to you to embrace your son's discomfort and fear by facing this child and others with disabilities. In time, your son will broaden his comfort zone to people with a variety of skills, abilities, and ways of moving, talking, and getting around. Here are some ways to quicken the process:

* Encourage your child to invite classmates with disabilities over to play, to birthday parties and celebrations, etc., just as he would his peers without disabilities.

* Read your son stories that include children with disabilities. Start with What Was I Scared Of by Dr. Seuss. It's in the book, The Sneetches and Other Stories.

* Watch movies together that feature stories about people with common disabilities, such as Down syndrome or cerebral palsy. Be sure to discuss how just as no two people who don't have a disability are alike, no two people with the same disability are exactly the same, either. Explain as best as possible that not all kids with autism, for example, spin toys or are considered geniuses.

* Model approaching and interacting with people who are differently abled.

* Affirm your child's fears and then offer him information about various syndromes and birth defects.

* Talk up the similarities between all children rather than focus on their differences.

* Teach your child to offer assistance to the peer with disabilities, but making sure not to encourage him to give unwanted help.

* Encourage your child to approach this classmate with questions and interest about his condition.

* Help your child find commonality -- a hobby or interest -- between him and this child with disabilities.

The Bottom Line

Communicate to your child with words and actions that the world is made up of interesting and unique individuals, and that by getting to know this classmate his life will be enriched. You must hope too that the child with disabilities will accept your child's unique personality and appearance

baby's ego boosts

Babies get a boost in their self-esteem when parents join in enthusiastically while they play with a toy. It's also a help if you give up on the cereal now and then and let your child enjoy the carrots she prefers. It sends her the message that her feelings are important and that you support her choices.

It may seem early to be thinking about your baby's self-esteem, but experts now believe that it's important to lay a foundation for confidence and self-sufficiency during infancy. Since strong self-esteem rests on an ability to feel pride in one's accomplishments, your baby is going to need lots of positive reactions from you-a clap of your hands the first time he picks up an object and manipulates it, or encouraging words when he manages to cruise all the way around the living room. This is not the time for you simply to stand by on the sidelines.

It's equally important to know when not to give in to your baby's demands. As she becomes increasingly mobile and begins to understand the word no, she'll continue testing you to find out just how far she can go. Don't automatically accede to all her requests. She needs to know that there are limits and that you're still the boss (even if she objects vehemently). If you're unsure what to do in a particular situation, ask yourself whether permissiveness or firmness will best help your baby learn. If you determine that giving in to your child's wishes would not be in her (or your!) best interests, say no-and stick to it.

Your baby's burgeoning sense of self means he needs time to play and learn on his own. (And no one needs to tell you that "solo play" time can be good for Mom and Dad, too!) The best way to foster this skill is to get in the habit of communicating with him from across the room. If he's stacking blocks while you're folding laundry, keep an eye on him. If his stacking attempts are successful, tell him how pleased you are.

Your enthusiasm will mirror and magnify his own sense of accomplishment. That way, even when you're not with him to praise his successes, he can imagine your pride and build his own internal sense of self-worth. You are, in effect, encouraging your child to discover his own capabilities while also letting him know you're there for him when he needs you. It's a delicate balance and requires that you find a middle ground between fostering independence and providing security and guidance.

What should you do when your baby runs up against a hurdle-such as when she's struggling to get a toy that's out of reach? In situations like these, parents should support and encourage-without smothering their little one's sparks of independence. Instead of simply handing the toy over to your baby, help her achieve the goal on her own-by moving her a bit closer to the toy, for example. But if the challenge is something that your child is neither physically nor emotionally capable of performing on her own, don't push-she'll only become frustrated by her inability to complete the task.

Have Fun With Baby's Development

Little copycat

Your baby is beginning to learn by watching others. For example, he'll try to imitate things he sees you do. Pick up a crayon and scribble with it on a piece of paper. Your baby should appear to be interested and may even try to do the same-though he's not likely to manage making an actual crayon mark yet.

simple secret of happy families

Keep a journal, be open with your kids, share the housework -- these are just a few of the surprisingly easy ways parents can strengthen family ties.

1. Find a community that fits your family. Key questions to ask: How well do you know the neighbors? Are there lots of children in the area? Can your kids play safely outdoors? Are you impressed with the schools, library, and other services? People who are highly satisfied with their neighborhood are 25 percent more likely to be happy with their family life.

2. Get a pet. An animal offers unconditional love, trust, and acceptance. Whether your child has just had a bad day or is facing a real crisis, Rover can make it all seem better. Family members who are under stress are 22 percent more likely to feel hopeful if there's an animal in their life.

3. Talk to your kids. When we don't communicate with our children, they're more likely to feel pessimistic and insecure. When kids are upset and withdrawn, it's up to you to start a conversation and ask what's bothering them. Your kids need to hear from you to know you really care.

4. Write down your thoughts. Research shows that parents who keep a journal are happier with their family life. Recording your reflections about the world, your hopes and dreams -- or anything else that's on your mind -- gives you some nourishing personal space.

5. Share the chores with everyone. Maybe you think it's easier to do the housework yourself. But when you, your husband, and the kids share the work, it shows commitment and mutual respect. When household tasks are divided fairly, family happiness is increased by 32 percent.

6. Be nice to your in-laws. Having a good relationship with your husband's parents -- and vice versa -- not only helps everyone in the family get along but also lets you better understand the person you married.

7. Tell your family story. Sharing memories about past generations strengthens family bonds. Talking about your history gives kids a sense of who they are and where they came from.

8. Believe in yourself. There's nothing mysterious about great parenting -- it's about being present in your kids' lives and offering love, understanding, and reassurance. So be the best mom or dad you can be, and feel good about what you're doing!

9. Don't coddle your children. Kids raised by ultraprotective parents are less likely to form strong social relationships outside the family. Don't shield your children from negative stuff -- explain it. Let them know that bad things do happen but that you'll always try to keep them safe.

10. Treat your husband and kids the way you treat your friends. It's inevitable: We sometimes take our family members for granted. Cheer them on, nurture them, be there for them -- just as you are for your best girlfriends.

11. Control your temper. Studies show that four out of ten families regularly yell during arguments. Behavior like this is intimidating to kids and doesn't solve any problems. When you're too angry to think straight, excuse yourself from the discussion.

12. Cherish traditions. Whether it's a weekly pizza night or a yearly holiday event, family traditions build bonds. Consistent rituals encourage your child's social development and boost family togetherness.

13. Show up on time. It may sound trivial, but always being there when you say you're going to sends a powerful message. It teaches your kids to be responsible and demonstrates how much they matter to you.

14. Welcome other adults into your family. An aunt, an uncle, or a close friend can offer your child a fresh perspective and be a role model. Studies show that kids who have nonparental adults in their lives are happier.

15. Tell 'em you love 'em. Even if your affection for the kids and your hubby is obvious to you, they need to hear it -- often.

4 Easy Ways to Enhance Your Child's Memory

Easy ways that you can help your child's memory develop.

Memories enrich children's lives and provide them with lots to talk about, which in turn enhances their language skills. Here are some ways to build your child's memory bank.

1. Establish routines.

Young children thrive on them, and they make perfect fodder for enhancing your child's memory. If your 1-year-old knows that he snuggles with his bear each night after his bath, he'll start to get the bear himself. As he grows older, you can enhance the language-memory link by asking "What happens after you take your bath?"

2. Play memory games.

Ask questions when you're out and about. For example, if you're passing a friend's house, ask, "Who lives there?" Games like this give children experience in recalling information.

3. Demonstrate how to perform tasks.

Babies model their parents' actions. If you want your child to learn how to do something, such as stack one block on another, show him how and then give him a turn. Doing, rather than simply observing, helps your baby store information more solidly. Be sure to repeat the action on different occasions, too. While babies can learn from a single example, they remember best when you repeat the action periodically over several days.

4. Talk with your child about her experiences.

Focus on events that resonated strongly with her, such as a trip to the zoo. As she gets a little older, help her make stories out of her recollections. Your child's memories will be richer, and she'll learn how to relay them in a clear form. Soon enough, she'll be reminding you of all the good times you've had together.

coping with your toddler's fears

Many fears begin during toddlerhood: fear of animals, new surroundings, loud machines, monsters, fire, and being separated from their moms.

As toddlers learn to walk, talk, and explore, they become increasingly aware of how small and vulnerable they are. This fear isn't all that bad, however. It can prevent a toddler from taking unnecessary risks. It is also indicative of a child's cognitive development-discerning the difference between what is known and what is not.

You can help your toddler deal with his fears by discussing what is real and what is pretend. Your child will outgrow his fears if you deal with them in a relaxed and reassuring way.

cool photo crafts

Here are some simple ways to give your fave photos a new life -- on and off the computer.

Kid Grid

Print your photograph onto sticker-backed photo paper, cut it into squares, attach to blocks, and voila -- homemade baby toys!

Happy Birthday, Baby!

Celebrate with photos of your baby -- everywhere! Print a headshot onto circular labels to add character to cups, napkins, and goody bags.

Stuck on You

Kids who love stickers will be thrilled with personalized minis. Upload as many as 90 digital photos to moo.com, and the folks there will send you a cool pocket-size sticker book.

Colorful Memories

Use Kodak's EasyShare software to transform your favorite photos into coloring-book pages, then upload them to kodakgallery.com. They'll send you a custom coloring book full of family snapshots.

Pop Art

By applying filters and adjusting the hues of your photo in your imaging software, you can create Warhol-inspired wall collages.

Upward Mobility

This DIY mobile is a fresh way to display your family tree

turn off the TV!

Those "educational" DVDs may be hindering your baby's verbal development.

Want an articulate kid? Keep the TV off. Letting your infant regularly tune in to videos like Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby not only won't help boost her vocab, it may actually derail verbal development, according to a new study from The Journal of Pediatrics. Here, what study author Andrew Meltzoff, PhD, co-director of the Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences at the University of Washington in Seattle, wants you to know when it comes to tots and the tube:

1. It's all about age.

Babies 8 to 16 months old knew an average of 6 to 8 fewer words for every hour a day they tuned in to such videos compared to babies who didn't watch them. But for toddlers 17 to 24 months old, the study found no evidence that DVD-watching did any harm -- or good. "This effect may only come into play when children are learning their very first words," says Meltzoff. (Not so surprising, considering that these videos contain very few words; rather, they're mainly filled with random abstract images like lava lamps).

"But the finding that the baby DVDs and videos do no good for babies and toddlers does not contradict the idea that well-designed educational TV, DVD, videos may be useful for some preschoolers or kindergarten children," Meltzoff explains. "What might be educational for a 3- to 6-year-old is a bit different from what helps younger children."

2. Hands down, you're baby's best teacher.

"We know that children under age 2 learn language best from interacting with people, and heavy viewing of these DVDs may be taking time away from that," says Meltzoff. In fact, all babies in the study who were read to at least daily knew slightly more words than those who bonded over books less often.

3. But don't feel too guilty if you've already bought those DVDs.

If your baby's logged plenty of tube time, it doesn't mean she's destined for the slow track at school. "Babies are adaptive and resilient, and there are many paths to healthy development," says Meltzoff. But instead of always relying on Baby Einstein to serve as babysitter while you chat on the phone, do try to find other ways to stimulate your increasingly curious babe. Remember, there's nothing wrong with a little downtime. Simply letting baby play on her own with a toy, a mushy picture book, or whatever her obsession du jour may be (a mixing bowl, toy cell phone, whatever) is a great way to help her make sense of the exciting world around her.

Let's Play: Classic Games to Play with Your Baby

These baby games will boost your infant's smarts and emerging social skills.

Peekaboo

Once your baby is 4 to 5 months old, she'll be fascinated as you pop up from behind your hands. By 6 to 8 months, she'll be playing along, hiding and then giggling when she makes eye contact.

Why it's so great: Your baby is learning a vital lesson in object permanence. "An infant doesn't realize that things continue to exist after they're out of sight," says Charles Nelson, PhD, professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School. "She enjoys the surprise element. You disappear and reappear, which is thrilling to her and teaches her that things come back, which will help her deal with separation anxiety later on."

How to make it even better: Hold a blanket between the two of you. This adds a lesson in body control -- she'll have to plan to remove the blanket, reach for it, and pull it away.

Patty-Cake

At first you should put your baby in your lap and repeat the rhyme while clapping his hands together. As he approaches 8 to 9 months, he'll be able to clap on his own.

Why it's so great: "Playing patty-cake is an exercise in rhythm and coordination," says Vicki Panacione, PhD, child psychologist and founder of the Better Parenting Institute, in Melbourne, Florida. "It also helps your baby develop spatial awareness, as he discovers where to place his hands." Once your child can sit up on his own, he'll become more involved in the game, improving his balance and his ability to focus.

How to make it even better: If you want to work on motor development, teach him to bring his left hand to your left, his right to your right. Learning to cross the invisible line separating left and right is a complex motor skill, one he should be able to master as he approaches his first birthday.

Lap Games

As soon as your child can hold her head up, sit her on your lap. Gently rock or bounce her while you sing or recite a rhyme. Surprise her at the end by dipping her down.

Why it's so great: Adding a poem or song turns lap time into a language lesson. "Exposure to language is important," says Jim Elicker, PhD, director of Early Childhood Programs at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana. "The more she hears, the better. She's tuning in to communication."

How to make it even better: As your child gets older, she'll start anticipating the next word in the rhyme. That's a sign her cognitive recognition -- the ability to remember, process, and adapt -- is increasing. Follow her cues as to how much bouncing and dipping she feels like. "If she shows signs she wants to stop, stop," Dr. Elicker says.

Where's Your Nose?

You can start playing this game any time, but your baby won't join in until he's 3 or 4 months. Start simple: Ask, "Where's your nose?" then point and say, "There it is!" Repeat the nose a few times before going on to other features and, eventually, body parts.

Why it's so great: Your baby is exploring the world by becoming aware of himself. "Spatial awareness is an important developmental skill, and body awareness comes first," says Dee Acklie, PhD, director of special education at the College of Saint Mary, in Omaha.

How to make it even better: As your baby starts to understand that things have a name, encourage him to point himself. At first he may show more interest in you, pointing to your nose instead of his own. Soon he'll catch on a sign he's developing a sense of self and his coordination and confidence will grow as he correctly IDs body parts.

What Does the Cat Say?

Ask the question about various animals, then answer it yourself, making exaggerated animal sounds. The noise will attract even a newborn. By 4 to 5 months, she'll try making similar sounds.

Why it's so great: This teaches your child how to imitate those around her. "Although people do it naturally, imitation is extremely important, both emotionally and cognitively," says Dr. Elicker. When you meow back, your child realizes she's got your attention and discovers that her actions get a response. The basic sounds - -mooing, neighing, oinking -- are stepping-stones toward speech development.

How to make it even better: Give the game extra learning power by holding up a book with a picture of a cat as you make the meowing sound. "Your baby will make the connection," says Dr. Elicker.